Fear of what?

A year ago, almost to the day, I signed up for a blog and never even typed a word into it or posted anything. I was afraid. I was afraid to share my thoughts, my art, and that I would sound stupid. But wow, I have been doing a lot of reading and research in the last few weeks and realizing I was ignorant for not jumping in with both feet and exploring the "uncomfortable", or stepping outside my comfort zone. I was going to post for a few weeks before I published this, but I just need to jump. So here goes...

I started a wonderful online class by Alyson Stanfield to help me focus on my art business a few days ago, and boy have my eyes been opened up. They're not wide open yet, but I know they will be by the end of this journey. You see, one thing I have realized already is that I have been trying to force myself to have a passion for something I don't have a passion for. And that passion is jewelry. Yes, I started out making jewelry, but then discovered the art of making glass beads. I was passionate about making glass beads when I started 7 years ago, because I was able to truly create something from inside me where my fire was burning to create.

About 3 years ago I thought, "why don't I create jewelry with my beads like others are, and make more money and share my art with more people?". And I did ok, not fantastic. I started losing the desire to make beads out of my need to create and started making them as a need to make something else that more people would buy. I could make jewelry, and do more shows, and make more money. Well, yeah, I could do more shows, and I did. I got into a few juried shows, but I realized at the end of last year I fit somewhere between the craft shows and the juried art shows. I also finally realized that I really didn't enjoy making jewelry that much. It became more of a production for me and not creation. My bead designs started to jump all over the place with no real style of my own. My creativity was buried in the desire to make what other people were making and not in my desire to create something where my passion was (lie, laid, whatever the word should be).

I have a passion to create beads and work in the flame of my torch with hot molten glass. My vision is already becoming more clear on how I can and need to focus my artwork on my beads. I know what my strongest talents are in my bead designs; funny thing is, I don't even have many or any of those on my web site. I have a lot of work to do, but I will be more focused and enjoy it more because I will be "creating" and "playing" again and not working to create something I don't even like.

In the meantime, I also have to make some money, so I will be selling my beads online as in the past to the people who enjoy making jewelry with my beads. At the same time I will be working on artwork that focuses on my glass art beads. I've already been writing out some ideas.

Until next time...keep your fires burning!
Debbi